


Darkly

by Reda



Series: You Belong To Me [2]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Nazi Germany, albino prussia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-07-11 14:14:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19929400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reda/pseuds/Reda
Summary: A visit to the zoo accidentally brings up painful old memories. Thankfully, Canada is there to help ease the nightmares.





	Darkly

~!~

You Belong to Me

Prompt 2: Darkly

~!~

" _Most of us are imprisoned by something. We're living in darkness until something flips on the switch."  
― _Wynonna Judd

~!~

Prussia was staring at the white tiger behind the bars of its cage. The albino man had gone suddenly silent and contemplative ever since they'd arrived at this exhibit. There was a rail that he was hanging on, his arms draped over the metal pole as he stared across the open expanse to the cage and the white tiger trapped within.

Not that the cage was terribly small or anything. No, it was a typical exhibit for the large cats. It had nice foliage and plenty of walking – or prowling – space. It had a big area of shade in the back where these animals usually hid from the curious onlookers. Honestly, it looked like quite the comfortable dwelling place – for a zoo animal, at least.

Canada stood next to his boyfriend, chewing on his bottom lip unconsciously as he waited for Gilbert to break the silence. Every animal visited thus far had invoked childish awe and laughter – especially the primates which had played with and enjoyed Gilbert's antics. This was different. Why was it different?

He looked over to his lover, eyes glancing over the sneakers and jeans – complete with a silver chain belt. He managed a light smile at once again reading the "I Am Awesome" message in white lettering on one of Gil's favorite black T-shirts. But he dropped the smile when he reached the red eyes – or the sunglasses hiding what he knew were red eyes. If they hadn't been blocked, those startling eyes would have been positively sparkling and gleaming in this light, but Gilbert seemed to prefer to hide his eyes behind the muttered excuse of "the sunlight hurts sometimes."

The same was true for the silvery white hair. Although Gil had a somewhat modern fashion choice, the baseball cap could only hide so much of the white bangs. Canada had to admit, though, that he probably wouldn't notice the messy strings escaping from the edges of the ball cap if he wasn't specifically looking for the silver hair he loved.

Whenever they went out to public visits, for as long as he could remember, Gilbert had insisted on doing everything possible to cover his albinism. And when Gil came back with a terrible sunburn once, Matthew had remembered ever after to coat the pale skin in as much sunblock as his albino lover permitted. This of course meant that they never went swimming; in fact, going out in public during the day was a rare occurrence in and of itself.

He had been delighted at Gilbert's enthusiastic agreement when he suggested visiting the zoo in Ontario. Most of the day had gone well. They'd seen several kinds of exotic animals, been harassed by a brash peacock when trying to eat lunch, and had licked ice cream from each others lips before Matthew could remind Gil that public displays of affection wasn't the most polite thing to do at a place overwhelmed with little children and their over-protective parents.

But now...

Now Prussia had grown insanely silent and he seemed to be locked in a staring match with the white tiger standing at the edge of the bars. Not that Canada could see what Gilbert's eyes were doing. He did think he had a good idea of what his lover tended to do. Granted, the silent treatment was _not_ something Prussia typically did.

"Mommy, mommy, he looks pretty! I want a kitty like him!"

The loud exclamations of a little girl brought Canada's attention from his boyfriend to the bouncing figure standing on Prussia's other side. Little hands were pointing out at the white tiger as little legs jumped up and down excitedly. A flower dress seemed dirty around the frills and a blueberry stain was quite obvious on the girl's chest but that was normal for a kid, especially one so active and expressive.

Canada could only smile at the girl, imagining what life would be like to have a child himself. What would it be like to take care of a child with Gilbert? Sometimes he craved a baby so badly he would walk to the nearby adoption agency...only to turn away in embarrassment. Two guys taking care of a child? Yeah, right, Gil would never...

"Oh, sweetie, we can't get a kitten like that; tigers are dangerous, you know."

Thankfully, the girl didn't seem to be one of those who would throw a tantrum. Instead, she moved on to ask another question. "I thought tigers had orange and black fur. Why is this one white?"

The mother picked her daughter up as she gave an answer. "Well, let's read the description, honey." They moved over to the plaque dotted with information about the specific white tiger. "It's a genetic defect -"

When Prussia tensed against the rail, Matthew turned alarmed eyes to his lover, the pieces falling into place immediately as he tuned out the rest of the conversation between mother and daughter. Albinism was also considered a genetic defect, at least by some – or most – of the world. Now the quiet contemplation outside the white tiger exhibit made sense.

It nearly broke his heart.

"Gil -" he started, putting a hand on Gilbert's shoulder.

"Don't," Prussia breathed, interrupting him. He couldn't tell what those red eyes were looking at, hidden behind sunglasses as they were, but he knew the next comment from his albino lover was aimed at the animal behind the bars. "You're not defective. You're awesome."

Still, there was no grin on his lover's face. He wanted to offer some understanding comfort, but Prussia hated pity. He'd said it multiple times – how pity only pissed him off - so all Matthew had to hear now was a quick negative word and he would back off and give the albino the space he seemed to crave when he was upset.

_So are you_ , he wanted to say. _You're not defective, either. You're awesome. So very awesome._

~!~

As a summer thunderstorm rocked the house, Canada found himself awake and frowning in bed. It was dark because power had gone out around the rest of the town so they were as dark as if they lived in the country, which Matthew found that he preferred. Between the pouring rain and the occasional sound of rolling thunder in the distance, he should have been able to slip back into sleep without fuss.

Except...

"Nein..."

Except...

"Nein...bruder... _nein_..."

Except Gilbert was twitching to the memories in a nightmare. Twitching, flinching back as if he were getting slapped. All night he'd been fighting this, falling in and out of whatever reoccurring nightmare currently plagued him. All night, Canada had lain next to him and felt his heart break at every whispered "no" in the German language. There was too much anguish in the usually cocky voice. It hurt to hear something so out of character, so exposed, even if it was just from some random night terror.

Except Canada had a feeling this wasn't random. This had happened before. The similar flinches and whimpers. The way Gilbert started to curl in on himself as if he were actually getting attacked. The cries of "brother" that seemed to be _asking why_ more than asking for _help_.

Feeling his eyes wet with tears, Matthew shook his head and started over thinking everything. Gilbert had been unusually introverted since the tiger exhibit in the zoo today. They'd come home and Prussia had still worn the hat instead of tossing it to the side like normal. Even the sunglasses had stayed on – they were sitting on the dresser beside the bed, for heaven's sake!

Clearly, he was upset. Every time Matthew had tried to offer a comforting word or gesture, the albino had pulled away and nearly scowled at him. So he'd left him alone. He'd done as Prussia wanted and left the man to deal with his problems alone. Now he was regretting his decision to give in to the stubborn man.

Now, now that he was connecting the "defective" word to a nightmare, to Prussia's _brother_ , he was beginning to wonder if it didn't go deeper. Germany – or Hitler – had been obsessed with the Aryan race during World War II and everyone knew that Prussia, the one to basically _raise_ Germany, had been anything _but_ the model example of Hitler's idea of perfect racial and genetic traits. Germany had been, of course. Ludwig was blue-eyed, blond-haired and an ideal soldier (thanks to Gilbert, probably).

But Gil...

White hair, red eyes, pale skin, sensitive to bright light and prolonged periods under the sun...

Sometimes, Canada wondered...

"Nein..." Gil whimpered again in his sleep, flinching back _again_ , arms and hands curling in the white hair as if trying to pull it out.

_This has to stop._

With a new determination, Matthew shifted positions in the covers and climbed on top of his boyfriend. He grabbed the man's hands at the wrists and pinned them down on either side of his head, bending down to capture open lips with his own before Gilbert could even fully wake up. He got a bit of a struggle at first, which was to be expected seeing as one did not easily pin down a Prussian even in sleep, but after a while the squirming stopped and a tongue started playing against his own and he knew Gil was awake.

Almost regretfully, he pulled back and settled for staring down at his albino lover. A flash of lightning from the storm lit up the room, especially bouncing light across the lack-of-pigmented pale skin, red eyes, and silvery white hair. "Have I ever told you what I love about you?" Canada asked as light thunder rolls echoed his words.

Prussia looked up at him, mouth slightly open as he gasped for breath, eyes yearning for something more than talk, but he knew by now to give in to Matthew's pillow talk. "Birdie..." Or, at least, he knew to give a vocal response of _some_ kind.

"I love _everything_ about you, Gil," Canada insisted.

Confusion danced in those hazy red eyes for just a moment, and then the haze was replaced with wide understanding. "Biride, don't..." He must have figured out exactly what was coming because he groaned and tried to push Canada off of him.

Matthew would have none of it. All day he'd let the stubborn man have his way. When it started affecting his sleep, he would no longer spoil his lover. He needed to do this – and he was pretty certain that Gilbert needed to hear this.

So, he called on his inward strength and kept the ex-nation pinned down, flexing his fingers around the pale wrists to keep from digging into skin accidentally. He leaned over and nuzzled his head against Prussia's, brushing his own hair against the white spikes. If his hands were free he would have let his fingers gently caress the bangs resting against the sweaty forehead. As it was, this would have to do.

"I love your white hair."

"Birdie..." Prussia whined, still trying to stop him.

Matthew smirked and kissed his way from the white bangs to the eyes. "I love your red eyes," he mumbled before he kissed each closed eyelid, seeing as Gilbert had shut them when Canada's lips drew near.

He moved down the face, purposefully avoiding the lips because he knew Prussia was mentally begging for a heated kiss by now. Even though Gilbert had been the more dominant one originally – seeing as Matthew had been a virgin when they started dating – over their time together, he had slowly grown to know and memorize the quirks of his lovable albino. And he now knew how to bend Gil to _his_ will...when he cared to do so, at least.

Settling his mouth into the crevice between neck and shoulder, he licked up the pale throat and nestled into a specific sensitive area before latching on with teeth. The body beneath his shuddered and a quiet moan escaped the Prussian lips. He sucked there for a while before letting go and moving down, earning ever-so-small twitches as he lightly touched around collarbone and chest before kissing his way back up to the pale throat.

He didn't bite this time, settling for long suckling, slowly making his way up the jaw before pecking against lips. Lips that were exuding quick, panting breathes. "I love your pale skin," he whispered against his lover's mouth.

There was some kind of shaky voiced comment, but Matthew interrupted it by pushing his tongue into the open, wet cavern before any words could actually make sense. What he did next required every ounce of control, but he hadn't learned how to tease his lover by being weak. Just as the kiss started to heat up, he pulled away, earning a breathy whine.

"I love your outspoken attitude," he whispered before diving again and repeating the action. "I love...the way you...tell me your secrets." _Let's see if he understands..._ Without waiting to see if it had clicked yet, Matthew kissed again, pulling away just as he felt things beginning to warm up. Prussia was squirming underneath him, always being one to hate such teasing, especially when there was _talking_ involved. "I love...how you _talk to me_...when you're upset."

Instead of bending down for another heat-stealing kiss, Canada sat back and looked down at the mess he had created. Red eyes opened and gazed up at him, wanting, _begging_ , and possibly... "Birdie -"

"Understand?" He interrupted.

Yes, he could see it now in the way the chest sighed and he could almost say there was a flash in that red gaze. He wanted Prussia to understand one most important thing and he had expressed it in his last few statements. Because Gilbert _wasn't_ doing what he'd said he loved. No, the albino had been keeping everything to himself, hiding away and caving in as he tried to fight an issue alone. And Matthew was sick and tired of not being able to do anything to help.

"I-"

Still not letting him go, or letting him talk, Matthew interrupted yet again, "I want you to tell me everything. The nightmares. The past. The thing with the tiger today. The reason you hide your hair and your eyes. The reason you flinch at the phrase 'genetic defense.'" He could see the red orbs shaking; he could see water forming behind the gaze. He leaned over and pressed his forehead against Gilbert's, looking straight into those eyes and not allowing him to look anywhere else. "You _will_ talk to me from now on. I want you to promise me."

He could almost hear Gil's laugh... _'So demanding...so spoiled...'_

Well, maybe he was, but only because the rough-and-tumble Prussian had fallen in love with him. It was his own fault, really. Love was a demanding thing. Love spoiled even the most selfless people.

"I promise, but -"

He sat up and blinked. "But what?"

"Now?" Gilbert whined, his voice cracking, those eyes back to hazy pleading.

Matthew smiled and leaned in for another kiss. "Later works," he whispered before finally giving the both of them the craving their bodies wanted.

~!~

The water was freezing at first; it always was, but he quickly grew used to it. Honestly, he had to adjust quickly. Gilbert was splashing him and insisting on roughhousing. Before he knew what was happening, he was racing around the oval-shaped public pool to get away from a shark of a boyfriend.

His glasses were safely tucked away in a bag with their clothes and towels, resting under the shade at a claimed plastic table. Similar bags and towels were scattered on similar tables located around the pool. Everyone was out today, enjoying the cool water as an excuse to get out of the summer heat.

Matthew yelped when pale arms grabbed him from behind, and then he joined his lover in laughter as he was pulled up against a wet chest. He probably would have kissed Gilbert then if not for the crowd of young kids and wary parents. The general populace may tolerate – and may even accept – gay couples, but Matthew had met enough parents to know they preferred not to have to answer "difficult questions."

Finally, they could enjoy time in a swimming pool, even surrounded by other townspeople. Finally, Matthew could see those red eyes sparkle in the light of day. Gilbert honestly seemed happy, too, like he didn't care anymore about the albino issue, the difference that had set his brother against him in the darkest moments of the war.

Of course, Matthew knew it couldn't be solved that easily, but talking had _helped_. Forcing Gil to talk _had_ been the right decision and he was rather proud of himself for going through with it. Now he could take Prussia out into the Canadian day without worrying about his boyfriend hiding behind a hat and sunglasses. Now they could _swim_ in the summer time.

"Hey, Mister!"

A little boy swam up with a slew of other kids crowding behind him, all of them staring at Gilbert. Brown hair, blond hair, black hair...brown eyes, green eyes, blue eyes... All of them mix-matched in different ways, all of them with different skin tones and shades that separated them, but none as completely unique as Gilbert.

Prussia let go of Matthew and turned to face the kids, his mouth frowning, his eyes obviously worried and tense. Canada held his breath as he leaned against the edge of the pool and watched the scene unfold.

"Why do you have white hair -"

"- look! Red eyes, too!"

The kids started murmuring among each other, all of them trying to guess what made Gilbert stand out so much. Canada could hear the suggestions from where he waited beside his boyfriend. From hair dye and contacts to alien...

And then Prussia laughed, "Kesese~ Why? 'Cause I'm just that awesome!"

Canada smiled. That was an answer he was used to hearing, a laugh that shattered all worry in one sure stroke.

The kids apparently found the laughter contagious, too. "But, no, seriously, Mister," the little boy insisted, his eyes curious and grinning.

Gilbert crossed his arms. "It's a rare gene, which means less than one percent of people in the world are like me. That makes me awesome."

"My mom said you're an albino!" A girl with yellow floaties shouted.

Canada looked up to see a mother in a nearby chair watching the scene as well. She seemed worried but not terrified, more like she was worried about the children pestering Gil. Matthew smiled. There was a reason he liked living in this town.

"Y-yeah that's what it's called," Gilbert muttered, his voice losing some of that original confidence.

"Does that mean you can't see anything? I heard albino people were born blind!"

Prussia snorted. "That's ridiculous. I can see just fine."

"I heard they can talk to animals!"

Canada nearly laughed out loud at that one, thinking of Gilbird and wondering if there wasn't some truth to that strange myth.

"Well I heard albino people glow in the dark!"

The kids were having a I've-heard-better-stories-than-you contest and it would have been cute if not for the fact that Prussia was standing there in the swimming pool with water up to his waist. He said he'd always felt uncomfortable being shirtless outside for long periods of time because for so long he hadn't had such a thing as sunscreen to cover up and avoid the sunburns. And now a group of children were bouncing all the strange albino myths right in front of him, having no idea what it had taken to get Gilbert to come out in the first place.

Before Canada could step in himself, the mother he had noticed earlier stepped up to the edge of the pool and put on her motherly-in-charge voice. "All right, children. That's quite enough. You don't want to scare him off, do you?"

"What, no!

"I think it's cool, I just wanna know!"

"You liar! You just think he's cute."

"Well, he is!"

Canada felt himself blushing, knowing that Gilbert was probably doing the same. _Kids these days..._

"I'm sorry about all this, sir," the blond-haired mother said, facing Prussia with an apologizing smile.

"Hm? Oh – it's fine. They're just curious," Gilbert muttered, a wide grin spreading across his face. "I've experienced worse than a group of questioning kids."

"Ah – Sorry, I didn't realize we had an albino in town. I might have prepared them, if I'd known," the woman continued before turning her attention to the group of children. "All right, guys, time to get out."

A round of "aww's" had Canada giggling behind his hand, remembering the days of being a child, the whining also reminding him of a certain brother _and_ a certain albino lover. He moved forward and grabbed Gilbert's hand in his, getting the red eyes to look at him instead of the kids or the blond-haired mother. "Hey, Gil, I think I found some playmates for you."

" _Gott_ , no, don't even joke, Birdie," he whispered as he squeezed his hand.

As if the German word had been an alarm, the blond-haired woman stepped over to the edge of the pool again. "You should come out more, you know. This town is quite open and friendly."

"Ah -" Gilbert muttered, waving a hand in the air. "I prefer staying inside. I just come out for -"

"My husband runs the local bar. He's been looking for a German's opinion on his latest batch of imported beer -"

It was like she had said the magic words, and it really only aided the stereotype. "Oh hells yes!" Matthew sighed and slapped his lover playfully as the woman's eyes widened. Gilbert blinked and then seemed to understand his mistake when he saw the children on the side, wrapped in towels and waiting to leave. "Sorry."

The woman smiled and shook her head. "No worries. It happens. I'll see you around then?"

Prussia nodded, earning another smile and a wave from the kids. After the moment, he turned to Canada, who was staring him down. "Hey, Birdie, that was weird. It was like -"

"She was flirting with you?"

Prussia blinked. "Huh?"

_Oh yes, I noticed, even if you did not._

With a sigh, he wrapped his arms around Gilbert's neck, only feeling awkward because of the fact that they were still standing in the swimming pool. "You have to take me with you."

"What? But you don't -"

He bit down on a piece of skin where neck met shoulder, earning a yelp. Gilbert should have realized they were alone in the pool. He should have known that Canada would not play nice now that they were alone. "You're _my_ albino," he stated when he pulled back, looking into those gleaming red eyes. "If you're going to start visiting the townspeople you have to take me with you. So _everyone_ knows that you're mine." He leaned his head into the bare chest, rubbing his cheek against the wet skin.

His statements earned him a chuckle. "Possessive much?"

"I'm allowed."

"What makes you say that?"

"Because you allow it."

"Spoiled."

"Your fault."

There was a breathy sigh and then. "You win."

Snuggling against his boyfriend, Matthew smiled. "It's cause you love me."

There was no vocal response, but then again there was no need for one. They had both said the words so many times there was no reason to repeat them. Not when they could read each others mind so well.

"Ich liebe dich, Birdie."

Then again, Prussia always had a way of surprising him.

He pulled back from the hug and reached out to grab the white hair and tug Gilbert's face against his, pressing their lips together. There in the cool water of the public swimming pool with the summer sun beating down on them, they kissed and moaned and felt the warmth taking over.

And then Gilbert pulled back and whispered. "Danke."

And nothing else was ever said about the white tiger in the zoo or the word "defective" ever again.


End file.
